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The rest of the world January 29, 2007

Posted by casualadventurer in Cultural Understanding.
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A mate sent me a funny message where he had overheard his daughter proclaiming the people from
Thailand spoke Taiwanese.

A really common mistake, more common than you would expect.

I have found that many Australians don’t really have much idea of geography outside our own
country, and we are probably better than many nations on that score.

Well there’s this place,
It’s outside of Oztraylia,
Its called the rest of the world,
I think some people live there,
But you don’t want to go there because it’s full of foreigners.
Of course you get some of the people visiting the Oztraylia from the rest of the world they’re called Toororists.
But not from Newz Eeland coz they live in Oztraylia too. You can tell from all the toororists that
the rest of he world is made up of several groups.

Yanks, Poms, Wogs, Huns, Fuzzy Wuzzys, Arabs Japs and Gooks.

Now the Yanks are all like some kind of policeman and they blow up whole countries so that they
can be free.

The Poms haven’t done much of anything for a while, so that when they manage to win a rugby match
their whole country celebrates like they have just won their whole empire back off the Yanks.

The Wogs are our friends because they came to Oztraylia so that we could learn about food that
wasn’t cooked by Poms.

The Huns haven’t invaded anyone for a while so they’ve quietly been buying the entire British
motor industry in revenge for what the Spitfires did to their Messerschmidts.

The Fuzzy Wuzzys are our friends as well, they helped us fight the Japs by carrying our tanks and
machine guns across these really big hills. Now Oztraylian companies can take all of their gold
for free, we don’t even need to worry about toxic waste or anything because it’s all in the rest
of the world.

The Arabs own all of the oil in the world except for the bit in Bass straight that the Wogs use
for cooking our food. But the Yanks are planning to take it all off them real soon, so that they
won’t need to drive economical cars like the rest of us.

The Japs are sort of like other gooks, but they haven’t learnt how to cook their fish yet. The
Japs are famous for making intricately designed engines that make mechanics
want to fall onto their swords and scream BONZAI.

That only leaves the Gooks, We should really respect the Gooks because there is a really really
large number of them, and although they all look the same they speak about a million different
languages. Oztraylia is teaching them how to wrap their food in pastry just
like a good Ozzy meat pie, that way they can use their hands instead of having to pick up a couple
of sticks from the back yard.

Yep we should take the time to learn about the rest of the world so we can watch those sexy movies
from Europe.

The first day of the future January 29, 2007

Posted by casualadventurer in Philosophical Perversion.
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The question is: “How did we end up here?”.

This is probably the key to many real or imagined issues that we, as humans will face. The short answer is that you have randomly woven your way through life, making decisions with no, little, or a misguided concept of the consequences of your own actions, and thus you have arrived to a set of circumstances that you are undoubtedly in!

Interestingly, there is absolutely nothing we can do to change the past, but every single decision you make from this point will determine your future. Although an understanding of how we got to where we are will undoubtedly ensure that we have no one but ourselves to blame when we do the same dumb stuff that got us to where we are today.

Now many people in this world are lucky enough to have graduated beyond the circumstances where all of our decisions are centred around the acquisition of our next meal. If you are reading this, you probably exist in this category. So our new found freedom to acquire an easy meal has made our life easier right? Well unfortunately not. Now we have to worry about slaving our fingers to the bones and our minds to the point of insanity for a whole new range of important choices….. What will type of food will I eat? What will I wear? Should I get the leather upholstery? How can I be seen without suitable product labels? (And my favourite) Do these pants make my backside look fat?

Now let’s face it these are the issues that shape the lives of people every day!

So what is the cause of this new found stress?

Well quite simply the problem is setting goals!

That’s right! We spend so much of our time trying to meet some pre-determined standard or some impossible expectation that we end up spending most of our time achieving nothing of any signifigance.

So what is the solution…. Well naturally you should become a Casual Adventurer!

Forget about those goals! Instead just do the things you have to do today as well as you can! Don’t worry about what opportunities or choices you will have tomorrow. When they arrive, just make your decisions as well as you can and move on to the next challenge…….

Then one day you will look at your circumstance and say. “I can’t believe that I am here”.